Jaed Coffin was once in the running to ghostwrite Justin Timberlake's memoir. That book still hasn't been released (or written for all we know), which is probably for the best given that Coffin's brush with the Timberlake was blander than the chicken sandwich the pop star expressed interest in spitting at a fan during Coffin's sole encounter with him. In fact, that moment is the candid highlight of an otherwise awkward-at-best meal with Timberlake.
Per Coffin's account of being this close to receiving one percent of Timberlake's book advance, "Justin Timberlake and the Whoever of Whatever":
The waiter brought out the mixed drinks and the ginger ale. When the chicken sandwich and fries arrived, the people came, too. The first was a middle-aged round woman in a trench coat with big dyed hair and bright red lipstick. “I think you’re amazing,” the woman said. “I just think you’re so talented.”
Timberlake looked at the woman, perhaps several degrees beyond her, his mouth full of chicken sandwich. “Thank you,” he said.
“Could I take a picture with you?” said the woman.
Timberlake stopped chewing. His forehead wrinkled.
“He’s eating, ma’am,” Melissa said.
The woman didn’t move.
“I’m sorry,” Timberlake said. “Not a good time. I’m eating.”
“Please?” said the woman.
Timberlake smiled but remained silent. The woman walked away. He shook his head. “Sometimes I just want to spit my food at them.” He looked at me for agreement, realized he didn’t know who I was then looked at Melissa. “I mean that’s really rude of me, right? That I wanted to spit my chicken sandwich in that woman’s face?” He exhaled. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But sometimes I just want to eat my damn sandwich.”
Coffin takes about half of his piece to work up to the meeting, which occurs in the early morning hours following a stop on the FutureSex/LoveShow tour. After the hypothetical chicken rudeness, Timberlake high-fives a dude who praises "Dick in a Box." He quizzes Coffin on his past as a monk ("“What’s that like? When they shave off your hair and eyebrows?”). He becomes crestfallen when K-pop star Rain's unofficial title is mentioned ("the Korean Justin Timberlake"):
“That’s ridiculous,” Timberlake said from the bar. “Why would anyone want to do that? Why would anyone want to be the whoever of wherever?” Timberlake looked into his glass of ginger ale for an answer, and then shook his head. “Wouldn’t you just rather be who you are than a version of somebody else? Wouldn’t you just rather be yourself?”
And that's really about it. Unsurprisingly, the guy who has a song called "True Blood" about vampirism on The 20/20 Experience Part 2 has very, very little to say even when he's not officially on the record.
[Image via Getty]